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Couples Therapy
Let's level. Relationships are hard. We have so much information around what we should do, how relationships should be and what we should feel. However, this is often paired with difficult or insufficient blueprints for positive relationships. Maybe you are getting stuck in the same arguments and not understanding each other. Or you feel alone but you want to be working as a team. Perhaps life events have changed you both and you're not sure who you are or what your relationship looks like now. Couples therapy can help. As an experienced therapist working with couples within the NHS, I have seen how transformational support can be. However, due to demand, waiting lists limit the access to interventions.
How do we start?
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I try to make sure everyone feels heard, given space and not blamed.
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We build up strengths, noticing difficulties as well as positives. This reminds you of the bond you have and gives perspective and a foundation.
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We may be working with betrayal in various forms, and you may each have a different idea of where you are at with the relationship. We set aims at the beginning of the work, but it is OK if the goal is not to stay together.
What might we do in therapy?
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We use past experiences, from our original families, to get a sense of where each of us are coming from - exploring the blueprints for our expectations and actions.
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We say the problem is the problem, rather than one person being the problem - this creates distance from the pain so we can see it more objectively and work together to understand more.
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We look at the stories we tell ourselves about the actions of our partner. We consider different stories and what that could mean about the relationship.
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We might track an argument - what each of you were thinking/feeling/doing at each point in an argument and how that affected the other. We can work with conflict in the therapy room but I will provide safety and leadership with this.
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We may get creative in order to find a new perspective or better explain/explore what we really feel.
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We talk, we might cry and laugh. We figure out what the actual problem is and how to communicate differently.
Ultimately, I will work with you to help rebuild, rediscover or remember the relationship you would like. Book a free consultation call to chat things through.
Sessions start at £150 for a 1 hour session (£200 for 7.30pm onwards)