Couples Therapy
in Liverpool and Online

Relationships are hard. We have so much information around what we should do, how relationships should be and what we should feel. But how do we do that? As an experienced therapist working with couples within the NHS (as a Systemic Family Practitioner and Dramatherapist), I have seen how transformational support can be. However, due to demand, waiting lists limit the access to interventions.

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Couples therapy for couples who feel disconnected

​You may feel stuck in the same argument and unable to connect with your partner. You are struggling to communicate what you want or need in a way that helps you feel heard and understood. The solution is not just understanding how to communicate better. We need to understand the patterns you are caught in and begin finding a different way forward together.​ We determine how you can spend meaningful time together and what is getting in the way of connection.

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Couples therapy after a baby

This is a huge life transition that changes a lot of things and brings up stress and past experiences. You may wonder why you feel rage towards your partner, or do not want to spend time with them. We can help you identify the new priorities and stresses, and understand the impact of the past and wider societal influence on your transition to parenthood. From here, we can help you to feel like a team and understand what your relationship looks like now. Support can also be provided before baby arrives, to help you feel prepared and aware.

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Couples therapy after infidelity or betrayal

If both partners want to reconnect and work on the relationship following betrayal, we can work together. The focus initially is to repair the hurt and trauma of betrayal and understand accountability and forgiveness. Following this we can  work to understand how it got to this place, the patterns of relating, and communicating needs. This is delicate work that requires a lot of honesty, accountability, patience and a deep love and connection (even if this has been forgotten or clouded).

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Couples therapy when you're considering separation

Couples therapy can be a great place to explore separation. You may struggle to know how to move forward. You may have changed and want new or different experiences apart from each other. There can be complications of the impact on children and you want to know how to separate well. We give space to considering options and viability of the relationship with the intention of helping you better understand yourselves and each other. This is particularly useful if you are transitioning to a co-parenting relationship, where good communication and mutual respect is paramount. Regardless of the outcome, this process can be discussed transparently. See Separation Discernment Work for a specific model when considering separation. 

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What happens in couples therapy?

 

• We make sure everyone feels heard, given space and not blamed. This often means slowing the process down and going deeper.

• We focus on individual goals for therapy - what you are hoping for and committing to rather than the change you want your partner to make.

• We build up strengths, noticing difficulties as well as positives. This reminds you of the bond you have and gives perspective and a foundation.

• You may each have a different idea of where you are at with the relationship. We set aims at the beginning of the work, but it is OK if the goal is not to stay together​.

• We talk about past experiences, from our original families, to get a sense of where each of us are coming from - exploring the blueprints for our expectations and actions.​

• We say the problem is the problem, rather than one person being the problem - this creates distance from the pain so we can see it more objectively and work together to understand more. ​

• We look at the stories we tell ourselves about the actions of our partner. We consider different stories and what that could mean about the relationship.​

• We can work with conflict in the therapy room but I will provide safety and leadership with this, and limit it in order to do the deeper work (I don't want to waste your time when you could do this by yourselves at home!).

• We may get creative in order to find a new perspective or better explain/explore what we really feel.​ We experiment with new ways of doing things.

• We talk, we might cry and laugh. We figure out what the stuck pattern and actual problem is and how to communicate differently - how to state our needs, ask for time outs, and understand why we respond the ways we do.

• I draw on a range of theories and models such as the Developmental model of couples therapy, Gottman and EFT. 

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Check out some Frequently Asked Questions here and thoughts on working online here

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Ultimately, I will work with you to help rebuild, rediscover or remember the relationship you would like. Book a free 30min consultation call to chat things through.

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Sessions start at £150 for a 1 hour session (£200 for 7pm onwards)

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