My Blog

How do we manage differences in relationships? A key part of a healthy relationship is realising that we are two different people. Different wants, needs, interests and opinions. In the heady early days of a relationship, we can feel like we are one person - intertwined and so in sync. It can be parallelled with early childhood development. When babies are born they don't realise they are a separate entity, they think they are the same thing as the birthing parent. When they

Most couples have “that argument”. It starts with washing up, money, sex, parenting, phones, tone of voice, or who forgot to do something. Ten minutes later, it has become the same painful conversation they have had many times before. The details may change, but the emotional shape stays familiar. One person pushes harder. The other shuts down. One feels ignored. The other feels criticised. Both end up hurt, confused, and convinced they are not being heard. Repeating argument

You’re both capable, thoughtful people. You manage demanding careers, navigate complex decisions, and probably solve problems all day long. From the outside, your relationship might even look like it’s working. So it can feel confusing—and quietly unsettling—when you keep having the same arguments at home. Not explosive, dramatic rows. More like recurring misunderstandings. Conversations that go in circles. Moments where you feel unexpectedly alone, even sitting right next to

Internal Family Systems (IFS) – What Is It? Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model developed by Richard Schwartz. It is gaining recognition as an evidence-based approach for addressing various emotional and relational needs. At its core, IFS suggests that we all have different parts within ourselves, each developed to keep us safe. Some of these protective mechanisms may have been helpful at one time but can now hold us back. Understanding Our Parts In IFS, ther

Birth trauma is a scary and overwhelming event for the parent going through it, as well as the other parent. It affects people in myriad ways. Here, I will discuss some relational difficulties that might occur, what to be aware of, and how to help heal these ruptures. I always recommend talking with a therapist, but you may feel ready to have some of these conversations between you. This list may help you recognize what is going on and feel less alone. Understanding Birth Tra

Healing relationship ruptures after birth trauma is possible—though it often takes time, patience, and intentional effort. Here are some simple, practical techniques you can use to begin repairing connection and supporting each other. [These are not exhaustive or a replacement for professional help.] Healing relational ruptures post birth trauma is possible 🗣 1. Schedule Gentle Check-ins What it is: Set aside 10–15 minutes regularly (daily or weekly) to ask each other, “How